Thursday, April 28, 2016


Still waiting for baby.

At 37.5 weeks I am so ready to be done; I'm uncomfortable and so tired and feeling pretty guilty about my lack of energy with and for my other kids. And yet, I have one more week until my parents arrive and a huge part of me wants to wait until they are here too - that's pretty much the only reason that makes me happy to wait at this point.

A few nights ago we had a false alarm, a "did my waters just break?" moment. We had to go into the hospital and get checked out. The drive to the hospital at 10pm, having called in a dear friend to sit with our sleeping kids until Jeremy's parents could get to our house, was a wake up call. It highlighted for me all the things I still needed to get done. Jeremy on the other hand was all ready to just get this birth thing done. I think he was a bit disappointed when it turned out to be nothing.

As it was, they don't know what the mini gush of fluid was but it wasn't amniotic fluid so it is all good and after a couple of hours they sent us home. I feel like I am still recovering from the huge adrenaline rush and panic of thinking the baby might be coming and I wasn't ready! I did a Target run yesterday and picked up most of my last minute odds and ends. I still need to actually put most of the things into my hospital bag but I have them to throw in now!

Last night my small group prayed for me and if nothing else I am beyond thankful that I was able to spend that sweet time with these precious women in preparation for baby girl. Having a safe place to share my hopes and fears with friends who know and love me was such a needed balm in this home stretch of pregnancy. Sometimes it is easier to think about this baby as something to do, or figure out, rather than someone new to love and get to know. I am feeling so much more joyful anticipation this morning as baby kicks and wiggles, who are you little one?!

Today, Levi doesn't have preschool so our mornings are often lazy and filled with snacking and snuggling while we watch TV and read books. And this week that plan is a slam dunk. I'm certainly not winning any mothering awards today but I am completely at peace with that fact. The next week and a half are about survival :) We might get out of jammies at some point. No promises.

I can't help thinking we might not make it until the scheduled due date, I have no reason to feel this way, and certainly it could just be my own desire to just not be lugging this giant belly around any more, but I guess only time will tell.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Counting down

We are 18 days away from meeting our daughter - assuming she doesn't decide to show up before that. I wouldn't be surprised, and honestly I am uncomfortable enough that I don't even think I would mind that much!

Of course in other ways it would be really nice to experience the positive aspects of scheduling a c-section; knowing where you need to be when, who will be taking care of your other kiddos to name the most important ones. But also being able to plan ahead and make sure you have checked all your boxes before the baby comes. Our only other "planned" c-section experience was thwarted when Nora decided she needed to come early.

I have a few things I very much need to get done before baby. Mostly to do with sorting, organizing and washing clothes and infant stuff; bottles, bibs, blankets etc. I am kind of living under the assumption that I will just make time to get that stuff done at some point...maybe after my parents get to town. That would be cutting it a little bit close, but if it was the only thing left to do it might work, right?

[Note to self- find baby bath and set it out to wash it, and also find bassinet co-sleeper to do the same]

I feel unprepared, but I honestly don't have time to be that concerned. I realised tonight as Jeremy left to take a red eye to Texas for his final work trip before the baby, that I haven't packed a hospital bag. I am not even sure what I need to get for said bag anymore. We are having the baby at the same hospital where we delivered the others but when we had them we were a three minute walk from our house, now it's more like a 20 minute drive. Not that that is a vast distance but it's far enough that forgetting something would be really annoying and inconvenient.

I will pack my bag first thing.

Actually, now I am worrying about it I might have to stay up and pack it tonight just in case.

I really hope this baby stays put for the next 24 hours.

It is crazy that Jeremy is having to travel as much as he is right now, it seems as fast as my belly is growing, he is adding trips to his itinerary! Still this is it, or at least, after tomorrow night it will be. Poor guy. One of us needs to be getting some sleep around here and its certainly not likely to be me anytime soon.

Not to mention the weather, what the heck, Seattle?! It's been close to 90 degrees some days this week. Keeping my kids hydrated and sunscreened is a crazy amount of work, not to mention remembering that I also need to do the same for myself. I love summer, in the summer but this spring heatwave is ridiculous when I am this huge and exhausted.

Sweet baby girl, you still have no name and we are not set up at home quite yet to bring you home, but know we are so, so excited to meet you! Your brother is fascinated with watching and feeling you moving in my tummy, he is going to love on you so much when you arrive. And your sister is very eager to " 'old " you and push you in the baby swing. She loves to swing and I think its adorable that she wants to see you share her joy and experience the activity she loves the most. You are coming into a crazy home full of noise and mess, but more importantly full of love and we are so looking forward to seeing how you will fit in.

It's hard to find time to blog these days but I also don't want to forget them. This is likely one of the craziest of seasons of our lives and I want to be able to look back and celebrate surviving it!!


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