Thursday, June 9, 2016

Dear Hazel - One month old

Dear Hazel,

Happy one month of life baby girl. What a delight you are. You have such a sweet and gentle spirit and we just can't imagine not having you in our family.

You have been working hard to smile and you are so very, very close! It's so fun to see you figuring out how your face can move. And I am desperate to see you smiling!

You have the biggest most beautiful eyes and they are still a deep steel blue. You watch everything. You are starting to track so well with your eyes and I know you are taking in your world. I'm sure you are seeing me at my best and my worst but I hope you know how much I love you, and that you will bear with me until I figure this mum-of-three-little-ones thing out. I want the best for you, and for your siblings and it's hard to know how to best do that but I am committed to doing my best and I hope that even in your earliest memories, you will know my heart.

You are so very loved, not just by me and your Dad but your brother and sister just adore you. You certainly endure their non-stop hugs and kisses and snuggles and you graciously fall back asleep after they have woken you for the third time in 20 minutes because they just couldn't walk by you without a kiss! We are working on setting you up a safe space to sleep with a working video monitor so you can get better rest but as of today, you don't seem too bothered by it.

You have such an easy going personality. You get mad when you are hungry but have figured out nursing quickly and are a champ. You sleep for 3 and 4 hour stretches at night, sometimes as long as 5 and you are the snuggly-ist little bug when you sleep. I am pretty sure that you are going to be a tummy sleeper because you already end up on your side every time you sleep. I also think that you are going to be a thumb sucker. You do take a pacifier sometimes but are just as content sucking your hand.

You seem totally confused by bathtime. Your little feet kick in the water but you still seem to be forming an opinion about whether you are enjoying it or not! I love to snuggle you in your towel and see your hair get so fuzzy when its dried!

Your hair is still strawberry blonde but unlike your siblings, it is still straight. You don't seem to be losing much of it yet, but time will tell I guess.

You have some tummy issues and my diet seems to have a huge impact on you. I am still trying to work out exactly what bothers you but so far I think too much dairy, dark chocolate and leafy greens are things you are not a fan of. (I'm sacrificially cutting back or cutting out these things from my life but on broken sleep, the chocolate is especially hard) Your little face screws up as you wriggle and jiggle and girl, you have the most incredibly loud toots I have ever heard from a baby!! Eventually you poop and life is good again but I feel so sad that you are so uncomfortable. You are such a content little lady most the time that these instances of pain and discomfort is heartbreaking.

You still spend most of your days sleeping. I love this stage of your life but I am also eager for you to be awake more so I can get to know you better!

Monday, June 6, 2016

Melting. Ugh.

It was close to 90 degrees in Seattle today. We have had a few random days of crazy hot weather like this through the spring and honestly, it makes me nervous for the summer. I love being able to be outside; beach days and spray parks, play parks and picnic dinners, but I like to those things in 70ish degree heat. As the temperatures creep up and up, my kids and I all start to wilt. This manifests in them being horrible to one another, lots of crying ad whining, me losing my temper too much and all of us just being generally in a bad mood. We end up having mandatory movie afternoons to keep everyone still and indoors. Indoors where there is no air conditioning because, well, "this is Seattle and we only have a few of those crazy hot days a year and it doesn't warrant air conditioning." This felt like a valid reason for the first few years I lived here but in more recent years, has NOT been true in the slightest and I lost count of the hours spent mall walking and doing grocery shopping just to take advantage of the cool air. Thankfully, we now have multiple friends who do have a/c in their homes and are generous to share but that doesn't help us at night time. Our single room air conditioning unit just doesn't cut it when we and the kids (at least start off) sleeping in different rooms. We may be making an investment fairly soon.

Our sweet baby girl, 4 weeks old today, was seriously unhappy today. We started out running errands together, just her and I and she was the perfect shopping companion, sleeping soundly in her car seat and then in the Moby wrap while we navigated Target and Costco. However, on our return to the house, she was super unsettled and wanted to nurse all afternoon/evening. She struggled to settle to sleep for a nap at all this afternoon and became more and more frantic as the day wore on. I became more and more defeated.

There is nothing sadder than holding your screaming infant, not knowing exactly what is wrong and not being able to fix it. She kept looking up at me with her huge blue eyes, glassy from crying, pleading with me to do something to make her feel better, but clearly I wasn't doing what she needed. I just snuggled her, and my mum snuggled her to give me a break. We changed diapers and I nursed her when she indicated that might help, and we rocked her and let her kick on the floor. I truly think she was just hot and overheated and was just thirsty or possible had a headache or something.

She finally passed out on me around 8pm after many laps around the kitchen and as I type is asleep on my chest and letting me drink a (small) glass of wine, because let's be honest, its that kind of night. She is finally sleeping hard and I am not moving her.

This is Levi's last week of pre school. I cannot believe the year has gone by so fast. He has had a blast, and grown so much since the fall. I am so proud of him. Even though he can be a stinker sometimes, his heart is good. I am eager for a summer schedule to start for us. I anticipate slower, more relaxed mornings to give me time to figure out some new routines for us. I would really like to teach the older kids to be more independent in getting themselves up and dressed and ready in the mornings, and I think that having time at that time of day will allow for that without frustration.
Perhaps by the time Levi starts school again in the fall we will have figured out how to get all of us up and ready?! We will certainly hope and pray that is the case. 

The one positive about the heat is that the kids want to be out in the pool a lot meaning they are in few clothes, swimsuits or just plain naked for a lot of the day and so it has cut down the number of fights I have had to have with Nora to change her diaper. She is happy to sit on the potty and pee for the cost of just 2 mini m'n'm's a time and I am super excited for her to really embrace potty training this summer!

[Sidenote - when I arrived at Costco this morning, 20 minutes after they opened, the lady who bought the last $400.00 air conditioning unit was on her way out of the store. Apparently, we are not the only family who struggle in this heat. I am just so very thankful I am no longer pregnant because I honestly think it would have made me cry to be so uncomfortable and so hot and the same time. Blessing to all of my pregnant friends who survived the past couple of days. ]


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