Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Carrying the changes

We have been living with J's parents for a week and a half. Our house went on the market yesterday and we are eagerly awaiting some offers so we can sell up and try to find our new home. A place that we hope to call home for many, many years to come - because I tell you, I'm not moving again anytime soon!

Levi and Nora have adjusted ok to the move. Levi displayed some anxiety as we were packing up the house and talking about moving to Grandma and Grandpa's house, but once we arrived he has been fine. Sleeping through the night in his own bed all night. Consistently. Prayers answered!! It may have something to do with the fact we are all sleeping in together in one room but I don't think he is even waking up, so I guess time will tell. I am sure that there will be some adjustment when we (some day) move into our new home but I hope it will be short lived. Nora is young enough that she is very flexible in her environment, but she is such a mama's girl that lots of people around wanting to hold her and play with her - let alone having the gall to try and put her to sleep - has been tough. She is much more sensitive than Levi and I am trying to figure out the most loving way to ease the transition for her. I see her separation anxiety too and with her still refusing a bottle we are joined at the hip much more than I would like. I am eager to be kind and yet, I am sure sure how to wean her from me just a little bit!!

My parents arrived for a visit the day we moved out so they have been staying with us at my in-laws (yes, we don't do things by half over here). We spent some days out of town which was a nice break for J and I from all the moving shenanigans and fun to show my folks some of the beautiful sights just over the mountains here in WA. The kids were hot in the crazy temps but we made use of the hotel pool and took frequent breaks in the a/c too so we all came out unscathed :)

We arrived home to Jeremy having to leave for a two day trip this week and more traveling in the weeks to come. Not that conducive to buying a house but hopefully by the time we are actually going to look at places his schedule will settle down some.

It feels heavy to try and carry the load of a mama in these seasons. I am struggling to find places for all of our stuff in a way that is not inconvenient to our beyond gracious hosts, trying to keep up with dishes and cleaning and laundry to keep the house in somewhat of an orderly state and keep my sanity (I forgot to mention the washing machine stopped working a few days ago so I have been trying to fit in laundrette runs to - so thankful that my parents just took a huge load of our dirties while the kiddos are sleeping to help out.

I'm aware that Lvi especially is in a state of adjustment and while he is doing a great job, he is also only 2 so I am trying to make life easy for him, discipline as necessary but also hold him in the midst of emotional outbursts that are simply a little guy trying to make sense of his changing world.

I haven't really had time to process the changes myself at all. I am so sad to be saying goodbye to a home that held so many firsts but at the moment I am too busy keeping up with the kids and learning what there is to do in our new but temporary neighborhood. I am not sure how long we will be here but with Nora's recently developed hatred of her car seat and my own fear of highway driving we won't be taking many trips to the west side so I want to make sure there are things to keep us busy here. I already know I will miss having a grocery store, and other shops at the bottom of the street...I guess unless we buy a house that has that too?! I enjoy learning about new places so I look forward to this piece of the puzzle even though it requires effort.

This post feels scattered, the half emptied suitcase all around me are screaming for my attention in these precious kid nap moments. [An epic addition to my daily schedule is that both kids want to take their midday naps at the same time and on a good day I get close to 2 hours of peace...a good day might happen once every week and the other days the overlapping naps mean I get 30 minutes, but I will take what I get and am working hard to get them more on the same schedule]

This is just a season. One that will pass quickly I'm sure. I want to embrace this special time with family and especially for the babies to have extra time with all their grandparents and to see all of us together sharing life. I am embracing the extra pairs of hands and hopeful that it can mean Jeremy and I can carve out some time for us. We need it.

I miss blogging. I miss this space and this community. I wanted to write. Even if it's not deep and meaningful. I long for time to think and process and share. I so badly want to find God's face in all of it, somedays it happens, others not, but I don't want to forget this time. This busy, crazy, beautiful season full of all the unknowns and endless potential. God is good all the time.

We are saying goodbye to one season, looking forward to the next and being present in the meantime all in a single breath.

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