Sunday, February 22, 2015

He is for me

I can hear Levi and Jeremy outside kicking a ball, and Nora is sleeping in her crib. I have spent every spare minute this weekend doing laundry, dishes or something else on a long to do list, so I am taking this minute of quiet to write.

Levi hit 2.5 and he's really good at it. Most of the time he is a doll, charming us with his cute narrative of life and questions about the way the world works but he has his moments when his toddler emotions just emote all over the place; he yells "no", cries huge tears, runs away when called, pushes his sister down and runs away to avoid consequences. It's not unique behaviour by any means but its challenging and it's keeping Jeremy and I on our parenting toes.

We are still camped out at Jeremy's parents and the close quarters are certainly losing their charm. We are visiting lots of houses as they come on the market but we seem to get our hopes dashed every time. I am not sure how the realtors manage to make the houses seem so perfect in pictures - I guess that's the point but we have seen some real doozies recently, really bad, like 2 inches of standing water across the backyard/wetlands, bad.

I have been feeling the burden of sustaining relationships with friends and keeping Levi seeing his friends while we are here. The driving is exhausting to me but I feel stuck. As I was driving the other day a song came on the radio that has the line "Jesus he loves you, He is for you" All of a sudden tears are streaming down my face. A relief washed over me; God knows where I am. This situation is not a punishment or something I have to survive. God is with me and he is for me. He loves me.

Some days that's all I need to remember.

I am doing the best I can and he is on my side, everything is going to be GOOD. More than that, everything IS good.

Here I am. I have a loving husband, a beautiful son, and darling daughter and a roof over our heads, not to mention the means to find our own home. We are so fortunate and so blessed.

Here is the music video to the song on the radio. If you havent heard it I hope you can feel encouraged.

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