Looking the part, doing the job.

Somedays I worry I am missing the sweetness of this season with my kiddos because, well, because life with a 2.5 year old and a 13 month old is insanity. These are my precious babes, teeny little sponges in the form of people that I am with 24/7 and life is happening even when I am too sleep deprived to take it all in.

Nora has somehow picked up her animal sounds, and "gaaaahs" for a lion, "aaaaaaah's" for a sheep, "oooooh's" for a cow, "ooof-ooof's" for a dog and "eeoow's" for a kitty cat, not to mention the cutest little fish kisses ever for anything that is in water. I love it, I'm just not entirely sure how it happened.

And Levi greeted Jeremy with, "Hey Bud!" The other night when he came in to tell him goodnight. Seriously, kid?!

Today at almost 2pm, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Geesh. Apparently it was the first time today because I have obvious bed head and lack of make up which goes to enhance the full set of baggage under my eyes. Ordinarily this wouldn't been something to worry about except for the fact that this morning I went out to the library and the grocery store. I am also wearing sweatpants which have their own special snot? drool? patterns around knee height.

I am a stay at home mummy to two little ones and today I really looked the part!

In the lead up to Easter as we focus on the resurrection of Jesus, I am so very thankful for a Saviour who lives and who is with me; walking through the hard days and the good days, knowing me fully and loving me anyway. Challenging me to be all I was created to be and to walk bravely into that calling.

Day to day I am reminded to surrender my visions and plans to His greater ones, and find freedom in the truth that I am not asked to do it all. This season of life is crazy, but it's crazy beautiful too. When the days pass in a blur of sleep deprivation, toddler tantrums and diaper changes I am thankful to be encouraged by knowing I am right where I am supposed to be, and instead of wishing this time away, I am embrace that few minutes of making sure my baby is clean and dry,peek-a-booing toes back into her jeans and kissing her cute little nose as she stands, "all done". I can take a breath in the midst of a not-listening, not-choosing-obedience moment with my son and choose kindness, patience and understanding over anger (most of the time, I mean, I'm no saint).

I LOVE my job.

I am so grateful for this season and for the opportunity to be with my littles. Even on the tough days - maybe not in the midst of them, but still...

Please Lord, help me to stay present and connected to you so that I know what you are asking of me each day, and please give me a heart of joy as I walk the path you set before me.

[We went to the Skagit Valley tulip festival this weekend. It was a fun family adventure and a break from house hunting - this was the closest thing I got to a picture of both kids...both so busy, busy!!]

Home is where my loves are...

We put in an offer. We didn't get the house.

The last week, especially the past 24 hours, have been stressful and anxiety-filled and hopeful and in the end just disappointing and frustrating. When I heard our (above list price offer) was not accepted and that someone had offered even more money with even more appealing pieces to their offer it's hard not to take it very personally, but at the same time my reaction told me a lot about this house. I am so sad to have to start the looking process up again, I am exhausted by it. And yet, I am not really mourning this particular house, in fact I am suddenly feeling relief about certain things which I had talked myself into being ok with to make the offer. [Enjoy the pink granite kitchen counters and the significant taxes for those views, new owners] I have nothing but peace about us not getting this house and for that I am thankful, and for the prayers and support of so many of our friends and family in the process, I am even more thankful.

As I ate dinner with the kids tonight, Nora managing to get quinoa and yogurt everywhere as she excitedly fed herself, and Levi jabbering away a mile a minute and telling me about his day - every minute of which I had spent with him of course, so it was not new information, I had an overwhelming sense of contentment. In the moments of life happening, I felt at peace.

Later, as the kids were taking their bath and squealing with delight as they popped the bubbles I was blowing or covering themselves in soap suds I couldn't help but smile. This is our life and our home is whereever it happens.

When Jeremy walks through the door after work to whoops and cheers, even some from me if it's been a particularly long afternoon, I am home too.

Yes, we are tired of some of the details of this living arrangement and ready for our own space, but we are also already home.

This time last week we didn't even know that this particular house existed. Who knows what tomorrow might bring? The market is picking up, along with the competition, so who knows how many houses we will have to offer on before we get one, but I trust that until then we can find our home in the midst of life together if we just open our eyes.

Our forever house is out there somewhere, and we might have to search for a while longer to find it and then fight tooth and nail to actually get it but one day, some day, we will be nomads no longer.

I might take the next 24 hours to feel a bit sorry for myself; take it easy, order a pizza at 3am to the address of the house we didn't get to thank the owners who didn't accept our offer (just kidding) and consume more chocolate than is healthy for me but after that I will put my game face back on and get back on the househunting train.

Choo choo.

Spring already!

Spring arrived already. And up until it sprang we had had some beautiful weather, but since then the rains have returned.

What a gloomy day, I have chili bubbling in the crock pot because this morning it just felt right! We made it out of the house to the song and story time at the local library which was a nice reason to get out of the house but we still got soaked getting to and from the car! The kids love the children's librarian and she does such a good job! (This activity is one of our favourite new discoveries of living here in Newcastle)

Levi has been on a mission to drive us crazy the past couple of days, just being so disobedient, defiant and seeming not to care about any discipline we try to offer. He is in a season of not really needing to nap every day, and when he does nap, he ends up going to bed later, sometimes not falling asleep until close to 9pm! But he still gets up at 6 or 6.30am and then is just so difficult. If he doesn't nap, he's crashed before 7pm but afternoons are miserable. It means that day to day I'm not sure if naps will happen and his little body is struggling with the adjustment. I just wish (again) that we were in a space where we could figure out a good and consistent quiet time routine for him so he had some down time even when he wasn't napping but the set up means he would be disturbing Nora and that doesn't seem fair, and also means he is starting to have his hour of medically okay-ed screen time most days because it keeps him still and quiet :)

Nora is sleeping much better on the whole. She is 90% weaned now, praise God for the simplicity of that process. She still nurses once usually around 9 or 10 pm but other than that she's taking milk in bottles. (Can we please talk about the fact it might be less expensive for our family to buy a cow than keep our kids supplied with organic milk, we are now getting through close to 4 gallons a week!) She started only take a few ounces at a time which had me worried and shoveling yogurt and cheese into her at every opportunity to keep her dairy up, but in the past couple of days shes taking close to 8oz at a time for each of her 4 feeds! She is also eating like champ so I think she is realising that there is no middle of the night snacking any more! It has and will mean a few more rough nights for us as a family as she shows her discontentment with just being offered a pacifier at night but she's getting used to the idea and complaining less. Of course the day after we started weaning she came down with a cold and now I think shes cutting some more teeth so poor kid has been through the ringer but she's still managing smiles.

I am sure Nora's weaning and night time unsettled-ness is part of the reason Levi has been overtired as he gets disturbed by her when she is loud and awake. And the sleep disruption is certainly not helping Jeremy and I be the nicest to each other either :)

Not that we have anything big on our plates or anything like trying to buy a house, oh, wait...yes, we do.
On that front we finally found a house we love. Its fantastic. Checks most of our boxes and would be great, but for that reason it's a very popular listing and there are already a bunch of pre-inspections happening so we know we are only one of many people wanting to make this place home. They are reviewing all the offers at the same time on Wednesday afternoon and in a market of cash buyers, developers and houses going for $150,000 above asking price we are not holding our breath. We are praying and trusting that God has a place for us, but facing the reality that it is not likely to be this place, even though we would love, love, love it if our offer was chosen.

Life goes on, busy and crazy in a very normal way. Happy Spring to one and all! I am certainly eager to see the ways in which this spring holds new life for me and our family.