Each year I try to choose a word that will focus my goals and my mind through the year. Some years it has turned out to be more integral than others but I have always found it has helped as I have made big decisions or gone through big transitions during the year.
This year's word is NOTICE.
Last year was full of challenges and it left me dry; spiritually, emotionally, relationally. I feel as though I was beyond becoming self focussed, that's usually my response in overwhelming times, but I feel like I moved beyond that to just caring for my kids and husband in the most basic of ways. If I got through the day with both kids fed and changed and had something on the table for dinner it was a good day. And if I got there without crying or totally losing my temper then it was even better.
What was the point of it all? What was God's plan? What was my life worth day to day? I felt lost, like I was being carried along on a wave.
This year, I am hoping that some of the big life changes we went through will start to feel more like normal life. We will finally get around to some of the things which have been hanging around our necks on a heavy to do list, and that I can find my direction again.
I am hoping that this year I can focus on the things I have, and am; to celebrate the good and challenge myself not to settle for the bad.
To do this I need to be aware. I need to notice.
I need to take a second, a breath, to notice when I make a good parenting decision as well as when I make a bad one. To notice when my kiddos are needing my attention and I'm distracted by something less important. To notice when my spirit is running dry and to make time to do something to be filled up. To notice when God is revealing a sin issue I need to address, and to notice when he is loving me in those moments too. I want to notice the goodness in my life - because there is so much of it - and I want my heart to be thankful in the measure I am blessed.
So watch out 2016 - because I'm going to be watching you!