Yesterday was one of "those" days. Thankfully they are not ever so common or I might hand in my at-home-mummy P45 and get a real job (!)
Levi has apparently been lulling us into a false sense of security in our parenting of a 2 year old and decided in the last week to become more and more defiant; running away squealing with delight when you ask him to come, or looking you in the eye and doing exactly what you are asking him not to do. The list could go on but I might cry so I am stopping there. Jeremy and I have talked discipline strategy, we have read books, but for the most part its been a lot of theory until now. Our little guy has been pretty compliant over all and this is a new and exciting adventure for our family.
I am finding this all especially overwhelming as Nora is not sleeping. Even her semi-consistent naps have become epic battles of Russel-Crow-starring-movie proportions and I have ended up pleading with her to go to sleep at night because I am ready for bed. She is cutting a bunch of teeth, her red swollen gums are clearly painful and if that wasn't enough, she's starting to take steps - I remember from Levi that wreaked havoc with sleeping but this is insane. And of course, the less she sleeps the less she sleeps and the cycle is wicked. I am running on fumes.
So after a busy day of tantrums and disobedience, sleep deprivation & teething, I was pleading with the night to take me into a deep sleep - and those ten minutes before Nora woke up again were blissful...
I was defeated and deflated. Finding it hard to find joy and pushing myself to give as I lived into my word for 2015, Effort. The word itself should have given me some clue I would be more tired than normal :) but it seems as I prayed for opportunities to step more fully into the roles God has given me, He answered. In every way possible, all at once. I have been faithful to set out everyone's clothes the night before and to get up and ready before Jeremy leaves for work so my day can begin on the right foot. It takes thought and time but the effort has been rewarding even in the few days I have done it but those little actions through the day do add up to being more tired at the end.
However, the effort to consistently discipline my toddler, and begin to discipline my firecracker of a 10 month old who knows full well what "no" means but chooses not to obey. It my turn all day. I am with them all day, so I have to be firm and consistent. Nora is often at the business end of Levi's disobedience and comforting her at the same time I need to be disciplining him is a quandary - any Mama's with 2 little ones (or more!) want to weigh in with some practical tips?
It's going to take work but I read a really encouraging-to-me blog yesterday which took my mush of jumbled and slightly intimidating thoughts about behaviour goals and simplified it. I am prayerful that God can continue to sustain me in this time pf physical tiredness and give me what I need to be a good mum to both these kiddos, putting in the full effort, loving them and raising them to the best of my ability.
I am so very grateful for the gift of motherhood, and I don't want to lose sight of that in the midst of the less than fun moments. Thankful for loving, grace giving, wise mama friends who are journeying with me. Thankful to be on your team :)