Well, it's here. I am officially entering a palindrome birthday year, it's not as young as 22 or as old as 44 but somewhere in the middle :)
I wasn't sure how I would feel as I navigated through my 30's. Seeing the number climbing with each birthday brought fear in my 20's. But the fear was because the big 3-0 was looming. Once that milestone was passed, the fear dissolved. It wasn't so bad after all. In fact the freedom that come with feeling content with who I was and confident about what I looked like, unafraid to be myself was such a surprise. I am not sure how that happened, but something about entering my third decade gave me a shot of feeling free to be me - and with each passing 30's year, that same sense of loving who I am just increases. Life feels fuller, grander and more beautiful.
In light of fertility issues, a number above 35 brings some element of fear in regards to my elderly, ever decreasing eggs and the increased chances of certain syndromes and birth complications but that panic feeling has not yet reared it's head with this birthday. I believe that growing our family is in God's hands, and I am seeing how He is gently loosening the grip I have on controlling this area of my life. With every finger of my clenched fist he peels open, I feel a fresh wave of relief and expectant anticipation. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I am feeling truly spoiled, and celebrated today. Birthday wishes from friends and family on Facebook and via email, a pile of packages and cards to unwrap that have arrived in the mail, plans with friends filling my evenings, and a gift that came in a little blue box from my hubby as well as a cup of tea in bed this morning! I love Birthdays!!
In other news, I wanted to thank you all for your generosity in chipping in to reach the goal of $5000 for the orphans in the New Day foster homes in China. As of this morning there was only about $200 to reach to goal!! So exciting! The fundraiser ends tomorrow so you still have time to contribute if you wish. (scroll to the post below this for the link)
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans...in their distress..." James 1.27
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Living for Today
A month or so ago I mentioned an awesome opportunity to help some of the orphans in China who are in need of some pretty major medical care. New Day Foster home is a wonderful charity and they are the hands and feet of Jesus, loving on these little ones.
I wanted to do one more shout out on this blog before the deadline on Tuesday and ask you to dip into your pockets and see if there is any spare change hanging around. Even if you can only give a few dollars or a few pounds, together I know we can get to the $5000 target. I love seeing the total going up as people come together to contribute.
One talented lady has dangled a little giving carrot to encourage your generosity. If you make a donation of $50 or more she will make a hair bow for a little girl you know! See here for and here more details on that.
There are only two more days to go for this matching challenge and another generous person has agreed to match the money raised meaning any donations will be TRIPLED!! Your gift would keep on giving and giving and children across the world will get the help they so desperately need.
I wanted to do one more shout out on this blog before the deadline on Tuesday and ask you to dip into your pockets and see if there is any spare change hanging around. Even if you can only give a few dollars or a few pounds, together I know we can get to the $5000 target. I love seeing the total going up as people come together to contribute.
One talented lady has dangled a little giving carrot to encourage your generosity. If you make a donation of $50 or more she will make a hair bow for a little girl you know! See here for and here more details on that.
There are only two more days to go for this matching challenge and another generous person has agreed to match the money raised meaning any donations will be TRIPLED!! Your gift would keep on giving and giving and children across the world will get the help they so desperately need.
Ten Years Later...Remembering 9/11
I remember where I was in September 11th 2001. I remember feeling sick to my stomach watching the images on the planes flying into towers, but unable to turn them off. I remember watching live as the towers fell. I had never set foot on American soil at this point in my life. I had never heard of the World Trade Center Towers before but I knew that what was happening was changing the world as I watched it happen. remember feeling absolutely convinced that any moment, reports would come in that Tower bridge or Buckingham Palace had been hit, or the Sydney Opera house. I didn't feel removed from the attacks even though they were happening across the ocean. It felt very real and that my loved ones were at risk in the same way the people in New york were.
One year later, almost to the day (September 14th 2002) I flew on a plane for the first time and I landed on United States soil.
In the years since, I have made America my home.
On September 11th 2001 I watched beloved British reporters, wearing no make up because they went on air so fast, report tragic updates of planes crashing into buildings in a land far away. It was frightening to see these usually composed reporters struggling for words, tearful and in shock.
This year, on the ten year anniversary on the event I have been able to watch the live reports that were aired on the 9/11 from New York city. Yesterday, I watched the Today Show footage from that day. Suddenly I saw these events from the eyes of America. I thought I had seen all the footage, but there was some I hadn't seen before. Honestly, I think I still have a sense of complete disbelief that it happened at all.
The tragedy of 9/11 is a reminder that we have to embrace the days we have on earth and make the most of our time here. Today I will hug my loved ones tighter and love them harder. I will say a prayer for all of those who have lost their lives at the hands of terrorists including those who died in the 9/11 attacks and for the families who lost their loved ones. I will live life to the fullest and look for beauty all around me.
One year later, almost to the day (September 14th 2002) I flew on a plane for the first time and I landed on United States soil.
In the years since, I have made America my home.
On September 11th 2001 I watched beloved British reporters, wearing no make up because they went on air so fast, report tragic updates of planes crashing into buildings in a land far away. It was frightening to see these usually composed reporters struggling for words, tearful and in shock.
This year, on the ten year anniversary on the event I have been able to watch the live reports that were aired on the 9/11 from New York city. Yesterday, I watched the Today Show footage from that day. Suddenly I saw these events from the eyes of America. I thought I had seen all the footage, but there was some I hadn't seen before. Honestly, I think I still have a sense of complete disbelief that it happened at all.
The tragedy of 9/11 is a reminder that we have to embrace the days we have on earth and make the most of our time here. Today I will hug my loved ones tighter and love them harder. I will say a prayer for all of those who have lost their lives at the hands of terrorists including those who died in the 9/11 attacks and for the families who lost their loved ones. I will live life to the fullest and look for beauty all around me.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Teamwork
There are moments when I sit back and realise how easily a day has gone by. This was one of those days. Ironic that it would be Labor Day here in the US because it has felt decidedly un-work like!
This morning we slept in a little bit, I got up first and took some time out to catch up on reading blogs that I haven't checked in on for a bit and J stayed sleeping. When he did get up about 45 minutes later he came down stairs and made us smoothies for breakfast. They were delicious and a healthy, guilt free start to the day! (side note: I always eat better through the day if I start with healthy breakfast. If I take my time getting up in the morning and graze on whatever I find in the fridge...read, chocolate or frosting or some other un breakfast-y alternative [please don't judge me], then I never seem to get back on a good eating track.
Then we called a friend and made a plan to be out in the GORGEOUS sunshine later in the day which gave us impetus to cross off some things on our house 'to do' list. We got out our green card paper work in order, and almost ready to go. That will be so nice to get off our list!
Put some of my old school books on amazon to sell (and by tonight we had made $80 selling one of the bigger text books. Score)
We were able to do a bunch of little things that have been lingering for way too long and then we headed to green lake to treat ourselves with some frozen yogurt and some time in the sunshine. We even met up with our lovely friends Tim, Sarah and Lucy at the playground for a while which made our outing more enjoyable.
In seasons of stress and tension marriage can be tough. We feel blessed that our marriage has weathered the stress of infertility without too much damage but we have had days, even weeks when we just can't seem to get on the same page. We stopped believing the best in one another and instead chose to quickly believe the worst. I think bickering would be the best word to describe it.
We wanted to work as a team, but struggled to always be the best team mate to one another in the midst of all the emotions flying around. Our trip to Napa, time away together seemed to re set our relational balance or something and this weekend felt like proof of that. We fitted lots into the past few days but now we are sitting here sharing stories, laughing, looking forward to the week.
This morning we slept in a little bit, I got up first and took some time out to catch up on reading blogs that I haven't checked in on for a bit and J stayed sleeping. When he did get up about 45 minutes later he came down stairs and made us smoothies for breakfast. They were delicious and a healthy, guilt free start to the day! (side note: I always eat better through the day if I start with healthy breakfast. If I take my time getting up in the morning and graze on whatever I find in the fridge...read, chocolate or frosting or some other un breakfast-y alternative [please don't judge me], then I never seem to get back on a good eating track.
Then we called a friend and made a plan to be out in the GORGEOUS sunshine later in the day which gave us impetus to cross off some things on our house 'to do' list. We got out our green card paper work in order, and almost ready to go. That will be so nice to get off our list!
Put some of my old school books on amazon to sell (and by tonight we had made $80 selling one of the bigger text books. Score)
We were able to do a bunch of little things that have been lingering for way too long and then we headed to green lake to treat ourselves with some frozen yogurt and some time in the sunshine. We even met up with our lovely friends Tim, Sarah and Lucy at the playground for a while which made our outing more enjoyable.
In seasons of stress and tension marriage can be tough. We feel blessed that our marriage has weathered the stress of infertility without too much damage but we have had days, even weeks when we just can't seem to get on the same page. We stopped believing the best in one another and instead chose to quickly believe the worst. I think bickering would be the best word to describe it.
We wanted to work as a team, but struggled to always be the best team mate to one another in the midst of all the emotions flying around. Our trip to Napa, time away together seemed to re set our relational balance or something and this weekend felt like proof of that. We fitted lots into the past few days but now we are sitting here sharing stories, laughing, looking forward to the week.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
What's for Dinner Wednesday - Southwest Chipotle Quinoa Salad
Taking a break from all the adoption conversation to post a What's for dinner post. I have discovered that when I am stressed I lose my appetite...well, that's not strictly true. I develop quite the appetite for chocolate and crisps but regular food, as in anything that needs to be cooked, I have no appetite for. Perhaps I could say that I lose my appetite for cooking. Luckily enough, I still really love to cook for other people and having a chance to take a side to a pot luck has been a great way to ease myself back into the kitchen.
I made this as part of a meal that we put together to celebrate J's mum's retirement. Quinoa can sometimes be bland, but this recipe that I found on dailyhomemade was a wonderful discovery. Full of flavor. We ate this cold as a side with BBQ and ate the leftovers warm for dinner the next day. I think I might have even enjoyed the leftovers better, the flavors had had more time to blend together.
Southwest Chipotle Quinoa Salad
Ingredients
2 cups vegetable or chicken broth
1 cup quinoa
1 Tbsp. Olive oil
1/8 cup red wine vinegar
Zest and juice from one lime
1 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. chipotle chili powder
1 can (15 oz.) black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/2 cups corn
1 red pepper, chopped
1/2 cup diced red onion
Handful cilantro, chopped
Directions
Rinse quinoa with water. Place broth and quinoa in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Cook at a low boil for 15-20 minutes. turn off heat, cover with lid and let sit until ready to use.
To make dressing: combine olive oil, red wine vinegar, lime zest and juice, cumin and chipotle powder.
Toss cooked quinoa with dressing and remaining ingredients. Stir to combine. Serve warm or cold
I made this as part of a meal that we put together to celebrate J's mum's retirement. Quinoa can sometimes be bland, but this recipe that I found on dailyhomemade was a wonderful discovery. Full of flavor. We ate this cold as a side with BBQ and ate the leftovers warm for dinner the next day. I think I might have even enjoyed the leftovers better, the flavors had had more time to blend together.
Southwest Chipotle Quinoa Salad
Ingredients
2 cups vegetable or chicken broth
1 cup quinoa
1 Tbsp. Olive oil
1/8 cup red wine vinegar
Zest and juice from one lime
1 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. chipotle chili powder
1 can (15 oz.) black beans, rinsed and drained
1 1/2 cups corn
1 red pepper, chopped
1/2 cup diced red onion
Handful cilantro, chopped
Directions
Rinse quinoa with water. Place broth and quinoa in a saucepan over medium-high heat. Cook at a low boil for 15-20 minutes. turn off heat, cover with lid and let sit until ready to use.
To make dressing: combine olive oil, red wine vinegar, lime zest and juice, cumin and chipotle powder.
Toss cooked quinoa with dressing and remaining ingredients. Stir to combine. Serve warm or cold
Friday, September 2, 2011
A whole lot to process
Bright and early this morning Jeremy and I headed to meet with our adoption worker at the agency. After almost two hours of talking through the process, and more details about the adoption situations we are open to considering. This led to more conversation about the leap of faith adoptive parents take any time they bring a drug exposed infant home. There can be minimal long-term effects or severe ones, and there is not a way to tell. Infants can often experience withdrawal symptoms which take extra time, effort and care to keep comfortable as their little bodies clean the drugs out.
This will (most likely) be our reality. This is our truth. It's a harsh one. And one that may slow our process for a while. We want a family but we are still working to surrender to the less than perfect reality that we face through adoption.
We truly believe that God has a plan, and more specifically, God has a child in mind for us. Our agency can tell us that the majority of the children they place have some exposure to drugs or alcohol, but perhaps we will be matched with a child that has not. Or perhaps our child will not come to us through our agency. Perhaps it will be a connection made from friends or family in another location who connect us with someone they know who is wanting to make an adoption plan. Perhaps we would actually conceive and have a successful pregnancy? Perhaps letting my thoughts linger on all the 'what-if's' allows me the freedom not to face this present reality.
We could be fortunate and be blessed with a child through adoption that has no medical issues but a part of me keeps thinking, "why should we be so lucky?" Clearly there are many babies coming into the world struggling with drug withdrawal, and many couples wanting to have children. Why should we get a healthy baby? We have resources that perhaps make us more equipped in some ways to care for a child who will have physical or emotional struggles, in the short term, or even long term.
I just don't want to.
I know that even if we had a baby of our own they could have issues that we have no control over. But usually the people offering that comfort are people who have had biological children that have not been born with any special needs or struggles. So yes, I know that there are no guarantees, but it seems easier to get my head around caring for a child that we have created who has a struggle that we could have done nothing to prevent than to knowingly open ourselves up to a child that had been exposed to drugs and could suffer lifelong consequences because of that. It's selfish I know. But I want the chance to raise a healthy child. I know that many people who adopt children have just that. But the wait for a healthy baby could leave us childless for many years to come.
My heart is heavy with this decision. The peace and confidence I had felt when we started this journey is fading, and I want it back. I need Jesus to reach down and squeeze my hand, to tell me he is here, to reveal what we should do next. I hope that if God was asking us to take on a child with special needs we would be obedient. It would be a hard. But when you have than sense of God's calling and God's purpose coming to be it can be easier to step out in faith. Right now I am just afraid. I do not feel as though we sense God's specific call or direction in our adoption. So where do we go from here? I am afraid to take the next step, but equally afraid to stay put.
Do we abandon our dream of having an infant for the dream of having a healthy child through international adoption? Or do we move forward in our domestic infant adoption and accept that our child may not be healthy or do we wait and and hope that we get chosen by a women who has taken good care of herself and her child during pregnancy? Would I feel blessed by that last outcome, or feel guilty that another couple would lose that chance? It would be a mixed blessing for sure.
This whole adoption process is dragging my faith across the coals. Its pulling the very core of who I though I was along with it.
My sense of entitlement is glaring, my idealism and desire for control becoming clearer through every conversation. I don't like this, I don't like who I am in the midst of this process. I hope that God continues to refine me, my hopes, my dreams and my heart to be all that he desires. Because I know that as I draw closer to Him he will give me the desires of my heart. (Psalm 37:4) I know that his plans are to give me a future and a hope, not to destroy me.(Jeremiah 29:11)
I just want so much to be on the other side of all of this. To have my family, to have our children in our arms to know the little ones we will love and care for and not just be thinking of them as a set of criteria. I want to be on the other side looking back. I want to be telling the story of how it all happened, not living it. It hurts.
To God be the glory, great things he has done.
Lord, please give me your grace. I really, really need it.
This will (most likely) be our reality. This is our truth. It's a harsh one. And one that may slow our process for a while. We want a family but we are still working to surrender to the less than perfect reality that we face through adoption.
We truly believe that God has a plan, and more specifically, God has a child in mind for us. Our agency can tell us that the majority of the children they place have some exposure to drugs or alcohol, but perhaps we will be matched with a child that has not. Or perhaps our child will not come to us through our agency. Perhaps it will be a connection made from friends or family in another location who connect us with someone they know who is wanting to make an adoption plan. Perhaps we would actually conceive and have a successful pregnancy? Perhaps letting my thoughts linger on all the 'what-if's' allows me the freedom not to face this present reality.
We could be fortunate and be blessed with a child through adoption that has no medical issues but a part of me keeps thinking, "why should we be so lucky?" Clearly there are many babies coming into the world struggling with drug withdrawal, and many couples wanting to have children. Why should we get a healthy baby? We have resources that perhaps make us more equipped in some ways to care for a child who will have physical or emotional struggles, in the short term, or even long term.
I just don't want to.
I know that even if we had a baby of our own they could have issues that we have no control over. But usually the people offering that comfort are people who have had biological children that have not been born with any special needs or struggles. So yes, I know that there are no guarantees, but it seems easier to get my head around caring for a child that we have created who has a struggle that we could have done nothing to prevent than to knowingly open ourselves up to a child that had been exposed to drugs and could suffer lifelong consequences because of that. It's selfish I know. But I want the chance to raise a healthy child. I know that many people who adopt children have just that. But the wait for a healthy baby could leave us childless for many years to come.
My heart is heavy with this decision. The peace and confidence I had felt when we started this journey is fading, and I want it back. I need Jesus to reach down and squeeze my hand, to tell me he is here, to reveal what we should do next. I hope that if God was asking us to take on a child with special needs we would be obedient. It would be a hard. But when you have than sense of God's calling and God's purpose coming to be it can be easier to step out in faith. Right now I am just afraid. I do not feel as though we sense God's specific call or direction in our adoption. So where do we go from here? I am afraid to take the next step, but equally afraid to stay put.
Do we abandon our dream of having an infant for the dream of having a healthy child through international adoption? Or do we move forward in our domestic infant adoption and accept that our child may not be healthy or do we wait and and hope that we get chosen by a women who has taken good care of herself and her child during pregnancy? Would I feel blessed by that last outcome, or feel guilty that another couple would lose that chance? It would be a mixed blessing for sure.
This whole adoption process is dragging my faith across the coals. Its pulling the very core of who I though I was along with it.
My sense of entitlement is glaring, my idealism and desire for control becoming clearer through every conversation. I don't like this, I don't like who I am in the midst of this process. I hope that God continues to refine me, my hopes, my dreams and my heart to be all that he desires. Because I know that as I draw closer to Him he will give me the desires of my heart. (Psalm 37:4) I know that his plans are to give me a future and a hope, not to destroy me.(Jeremiah 29:11)
I just want so much to be on the other side of all of this. To have my family, to have our children in our arms to know the little ones we will love and care for and not just be thinking of them as a set of criteria. I want to be on the other side looking back. I want to be telling the story of how it all happened, not living it. It hurts.
To God be the glory, great things he has done.
Lord, please give me your grace. I really, really need it.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother - Part 2
Firstly I have to say a huge thank you to all of you who left kind and encouraging words and prayers in response to yesterday's post. Your gentleness was a balm to my weary, anxious heart. Thanks you, thank you. This next post has been in the work for a little while. It is another reflection from Jana Wolff's 'Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother' and seem to fit well with the head space I am in at the moment.
"As special as it was to witness this birth, I could do nothing to soften it's hard reality: I had been there, I had seen it, and I could never pretend that this baby had arrived by magic, in joyful ambivalence. I could never look at him without seeing her."(73-74)
I imagine that this will be one of the pieces of the adoption process that will be hardest for me. I have wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember. I want to be the one a baby looks to for comfort, who's voice they recognize first. I want to be everything to my children. And the adoption process as beautiful as it is, doesn't offer me that illusion in the way having a biological child would. (Perhaps that is a good thing...perhaps that is the point, perhaps that is where my faith must grow...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps)
I say illusion because ultimately our children will belong to God. Whether they come from my body and share my genetics or not. They are never only mine, or only ours. However children find their way into our hearts and homes, they firstly and always belong to God.
He loves them and cares about them more than we can imagine or match. We can love with everything inside us, but God will always out love us.
There is no way that I can be everything to my children, they will need God's strength, grace, compassion to be all they are designed to be. So my job will be to teach them about Him by modeling all those things, and showing my own dependence on God day by day...suddenly, my illusion of being capable of being everything my child wold need begins to crumble -in a good way!
For our adoption story to be complete, we need there to be a mother who chooses us to parent her child. She will never be out of the equation, she is an intimate piece of this puzzle. Our child will always wonder about this woman, and may well feel a sense of loss or confusion as they begin to more fully understand the story of how they came to our family. We can hope and pray that their birth mother's choice will be understood, and that she will be known to our child in a way that eliminates some of the mystery and offers some answers and for our child, but we have no way of knowing beforehand who if her desire and situation will allow for this 'ideal' open adoption scenario.
I can never pretend that I am my baby's world. There will always be another women sharing the mother piece in their heart. While this mother may not be the one waking for night feeds or caring for them when they are sick, this woman will have given them life, and that can never and will never be forgotten. I really hope that our circumstance will allow us to embrace our child's birth mother as an extension of our family. That is our prayer.
I know that I will be mama, 'tucks them in every night' mama. My child will only have one of those, but I also hope God will give me grace as I share that Mother piece of our child's heart with their biological mother, the courageous woman who gave them life and made a choice out of love, that gave us the opportunity to be parents.
So while it may be hard at times to feel as though I will be sharing my child, I hope and pray that this feeling will be soothed by the revelation that they were never mine to begin with, that they were a gift and that it is my job as mama to love them and help them to become all they were created to be. Our story will include imperfect situations, no ones 'first choice' as Jana Wolff wrote. I know in my own strength this could cast a dark shadow over our journey, but in Him I can see that we have been given the responsibility to join in with the story he was writing not only in our lives, but also in the lives of others who find themselves pregnant and unable to parent. This is a story beyond ourselves, outside our white picket fence.
God perfect reality for our lives. Made possible only through His grace.
This blog represents a steady flow of emotions. I am a girl, it's just how we roll. While it may seem like a roller coaster - trust me it feels that way in real life - everything I write is from my heart, poor spelling included!
"As special as it was to witness this birth, I could do nothing to soften it's hard reality: I had been there, I had seen it, and I could never pretend that this baby had arrived by magic, in joyful ambivalence. I could never look at him without seeing her."(73-74)
I imagine that this will be one of the pieces of the adoption process that will be hardest for me. I have wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember. I want to be the one a baby looks to for comfort, who's voice they recognize first. I want to be everything to my children. And the adoption process as beautiful as it is, doesn't offer me that illusion in the way having a biological child would. (Perhaps that is a good thing...perhaps that is the point, perhaps that is where my faith must grow...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps)
I say illusion because ultimately our children will belong to God. Whether they come from my body and share my genetics or not. They are never only mine, or only ours. However children find their way into our hearts and homes, they firstly and always belong to God.
He loves them and cares about them more than we can imagine or match. We can love with everything inside us, but God will always out love us.
There is no way that I can be everything to my children, they will need God's strength, grace, compassion to be all they are designed to be. So my job will be to teach them about Him by modeling all those things, and showing my own dependence on God day by day...suddenly, my illusion of being capable of being everything my child wold need begins to crumble -in a good way!
For our adoption story to be complete, we need there to be a mother who chooses us to parent her child. She will never be out of the equation, she is an intimate piece of this puzzle. Our child will always wonder about this woman, and may well feel a sense of loss or confusion as they begin to more fully understand the story of how they came to our family. We can hope and pray that their birth mother's choice will be understood, and that she will be known to our child in a way that eliminates some of the mystery and offers some answers and for our child, but we have no way of knowing beforehand who if her desire and situation will allow for this 'ideal' open adoption scenario.
I can never pretend that I am my baby's world. There will always be another women sharing the mother piece in their heart. While this mother may not be the one waking for night feeds or caring for them when they are sick, this woman will have given them life, and that can never and will never be forgotten. I really hope that our circumstance will allow us to embrace our child's birth mother as an extension of our family. That is our prayer.
I know that I will be mama, 'tucks them in every night' mama. My child will only have one of those, but I also hope God will give me grace as I share that Mother piece of our child's heart with their biological mother, the courageous woman who gave them life and made a choice out of love, that gave us the opportunity to be parents.
So while it may be hard at times to feel as though I will be sharing my child, I hope and pray that this feeling will be soothed by the revelation that they were never mine to begin with, that they were a gift and that it is my job as mama to love them and help them to become all they were created to be. Our story will include imperfect situations, no ones 'first choice' as Jana Wolff wrote. I know in my own strength this could cast a dark shadow over our journey, but in Him I can see that we have been given the responsibility to join in with the story he was writing not only in our lives, but also in the lives of others who find themselves pregnant and unable to parent. This is a story beyond ourselves, outside our white picket fence.
God perfect reality for our lives. Made possible only through His grace.
This blog represents a steady flow of emotions. I am a girl, it's just how we roll. While it may seem like a roller coaster - trust me it feels that way in real life - everything I write is from my heart, poor spelling included!
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