I was reminded recently, "marriage is not a sprint, it is a marathon" VOOM. Weight lifted from my shoulders. I think this is something Jeremy and I need to have embroidered on our kitchen towels so we see it every day!
We are both perfectionists and I think this can mean we both feel a burden to "fix" everything that isn't perfect in our relationship right now. The truth that we have a lifetime to work on knowing and loving each other better is so freeing! We love each other very much but we are still adjusting to being married. We continue to be a very real reflection of the other, and that's not always comfortable or easy. Seeing a glimpse of your true self is not always pretty and when you live in the same house, sleep in the same bed and generally spend a lot of time with another person it is hard to get away from.
Before we were married, we both had places to call home. Space of our own to regroup. The take a breath and find ourselves again. I am recognising more and more that this is a way God is refining and transforming me. It doesn't feel good to see places where I am selfish, or where I am prideful, stubborn, or fearful. It is easy for me to get frustrated with Jeremy and blame him for making me feel these things, but when I am in a frame of mind to be able to step back I see I am really mad at myself, and wanting to change.
I am also reminded that Jeremy is the reflection of the good things too. His love is healing in the places where I have been vulnerable His smile when I am funny, his prayers when I am sick and his kiss on the cheek and hushed voice telling me to go back to sleep when he knows I am tired, and a million other things are reflections of God's love for me.
I love that life is taking us on this wild ride that causes us to have conversations and experiences which help us know one another better. We have 30 years of life to catch up on - but we have a lifetime to do it. We had a pretty whirlwind relationship, we celebrated our year dating anniversary in November after we had already been married over two months. It meat that it has only been recently that we can reminisce about a holiday or event and have it be something we shared together. These shared experiences are a place we learn more about each other and that feels really exciting as we have so much more life to spend together.
Life is good. And laughter is the best communication!