On Sunday at church, our Pastor gave a message that encouraged us to trust that the small ways we love and serve each other are serving as part of God's bigger plan. I know as a stay at home mummy, I have felt as though the days can pass without me having time to do anything worth a lick.
Yes, I keep Levi fed and watered, I change his bum and try to keep him entertained for the hours he is awake. But when I hear a friend is sick, my first response isn't always to offer to take them a meal or watch their kids so they can rest because I am feeling like its just too much. I see need but I carry a heavy burden of not doing enough, not loving others well enough, and failing (over and over) to live into God's plan for my days.
After Sunday, I realised how the enemy loves how overwhelmed I can feel somedays. He loves that it can incapacitate me and I see more clearly how I have let that happen. So instead of feeling that way, I am choosing to celebrate the small and seemingly insignificant events of the day and even in the past few days I have seen how beautiful life has become. Nothing has changed except a time to intentionally celebrate but there is so much joy in my days, even the lazy ones :)
Yesterday was such a day. A lazy one. One where the only time we left the house to to drive thru Starbucks to get me some coffee and also pick up the mail. I wore pajamas or yoga pants all day. The TV was on more than it was off (and I had been doing so well with not having it on during the day- fresh start tomorrow, right?) Levi took a terrible nap which meant that he was overly emotional, our afternoon playdate was cancelled because our friends were sick and J had to teach a class after work and didn't get home until after 10pm so I was on duty for all of the bedtime routine. I guess looking at it like that it's hard to see the beauty. It sounds like one of those overwhelming days.
In someways it was.
But there was so much to celebrate.
How Levi started sitting on my lap, facing me and placing his hands gently (without being prompted) and asked for the baby to move, and the smile and giggle that would melt my heart when she did! I think she likes him because she responded almost every time.
Then there was the 30 minutes he and I spent building with his blocks. We made towers and a chair for his Lovey. Simple time together.
Then he loved when I would fold down tthe collapseable tunnel, and he would step inside with his little arms above his head and yell "pop" at which I would let go and the tunnel would pop open above his head, knocking him down in a pile of giggles, while he yelled "more pop!, more pop!" Over and over and over.
For his dinner tonight, I made him white fish with mango and tomato and reheated some sweet potato fries that I had made for our dinner last night. He eats well, I had egg on toast - I can get away with that type of dinner when J isn't here! I love how well Levi eats, and I pray he will continue to grow healthy and strong.
And then there is bathtime, when he was splashing on his belly "wimmin" (swimming) as he calls it, and I ask, "who has the cutest little bum?" and without missing a beat he turns to look up at me and says, "daddy". Ha ha!
He is growing into the most precious child. A true gift from God. Perhaps it wasn't the most productive of days, lots of things I wish I had done differently or better but eve just these little moments show me that our time together IS important. I am planting seeds. I am encouraging his development, showing him love, creating a safe place for him to grow without fear. I don' know the plans God has in mind for Levi' s future but I trust that they will be beautiful and wonderful and mroe than I can even imagine.