I realised today as I was changing Levi's nappy and "we" were chatting, how much fun it is to have his company. Yes, I am still doing things for him. He is certainly not independent in any way yet, but as his little personality continues to come through I m genuinely enjoying his company during the day.
It was a special revelation as I contemplate the fears I had in parenting a little boy. I admit that as much as God prepared my heart that Levi was going to be a boy, and as flat-out ecstatic I was to be having any baby, there was a tiny part of my heart that was hoping I would have a girl. As soon as the sonographer told us that he was a boy, I was thrilled but I had to walk through a moment of grief for the daughter he wasn't.
I am a girl, and a pretty girly one at that. I like to craft, I get excited about decorating the house for different seasons, I love baking and cooking. Not that boys can't enjoy these activities but I knew it was more likely that a boy would be wanting to rough and tumble, get dirty, play sports (and yes, I know girls can be this way, but please leave me to my stereotyping examples).
I had a fear that I wouldn't know how to connect with a boy. Would we have anything in common? Would I know how to raise him to embrace his passions, gifting and boy-ness? These questions were soon forgotten in the excitement of preparing to welcome our sweet boy but they never really got answered.
Today, as I laughed along with my son, all of those questions were answered. I am not sure what I was so worried about, or how I imagined life would be so different with a daughter. I don't look at Levi just as a boy. He is my baby. End of. And boy, do I love this little stinker.
I love that he is so desperate to be moving and at just 6 months he is getting into crawling position and rocking and hopping like a little bunny.
I love that he thinks peekaboo is so hilarious.
I love that at night when I am rocking him and singing to him, he lifts his sleepy little head off my shoulder and rubs his nose on mine, Eskimo kisses.
I love that he wants to be bouncing all. the. time.
I love that he likes to stick his tongue out between his teeth and just stay that way.
I love that he tries to sing along with music.
I love how willing he is to smile and laugh for friends and strangers alike.
I love that he claps himself when he thinks he has done something clever - including when he rolls his naked butt away from me when I am trying to change his bum!
I love that he thinks sneezing - his or other peoples - is sooo funny.
I love that he wakes up every morning so happy and chatty.
And that is just off the top of my head as I type this. He love to have fun. He wants to explore and thinks life is a big adventure. I love his spirit, so excited and enthusiastic (his middle name Rhys means enthusiasm for life and he certainly personifies that).
I cannot imagine life with a daughter now, even though I know I would have loved her for a million reasons of her own, I am glad to have this sweet, hilarious, ticklish, tenacious, sweet and feisty little man for company each day. I can't wait for all the fun we are going to have as he grows up.