Wednesday, April 23, 2014

We're hanging in. Life is good.

Time marches on.

 Nora turned 9 weeks last Friday.

 I am averaging 3 showers a week so it's not all bad but this 2 babies in 18 months business should come with a warning label for the first weeks!

 My days and weeks still roller-coaster from blissful joy; art projects with Levi, park visits, playdates, and cooing conversations with Nora to the deepest anxiety and depression; snapping at Levi and sitting on the couch in my jammies watching 16 and pregnant, eating chocolate and wishing away the hours until Jeremy gets home so I can cry on his shoulder.

Thankfully for all involved, the dark times are becomming much less frequent and the joy in the managable times is increasing. I am completely biased but I think my babies are awesome. Both of them are growing and changing every day and its a total privilege to witness it.

To see Levi's sense of adventure and his boundless energy coming out and to hear his language just exploding is exhausting and fabulous in equal measure :) I am able to communicate with him and know that his 8am trantrum is because I didn't agree that m'n'm's were suitable for breakfast. I still have to deal with the attitude and opinions of a 20 month old, but when he melts down at least he tells me why. At the same time, he is becomming more and more of a help around the house. He is always eager to help with the laundry, unloading the basket into the washer and then from the washer to the dryer. He can also find me clean diapers and wipes for Nora if I am changing her. He enjoys being a helper - on his terms, and when he's not busy making a mess somewhere else, climbing on a table or playing with his trains.

And our sweet Nora girl is just changing minute by minute. She is cooing and talking non-stop when she is awake - even though that isn't usually for very long. She's taken to smiling like its going out of style, and is eager to show off her skills to anyone who will coo and smile back at her. She is on the verge of rolling, I swear, and I am just so, so excited to see all the firsts that are coming her way in the days, weeks and months ahead.

I am reminded after every playdate that I cannot survive without community. I am so very grateful for the friends and family who are walking so closely, graciously and generously alongside us in this season. This tenth week is the first time we have not had people bringing us meals. What a blessing that has been, and honestly, I am almost eager to be back in my kitchen on a more regular basis having been gone for so long!

It's also a gift that so many of our friends have little ones Levi's age so we have offers of playdates galore. I am becomming more adventurous about where we go and for how long as Nora becomes slightly more predictable but I am also continuing to have grace with myself that in this season I do not have to, a) say "Yes" to every invitation, or b) be busy all the time. Levi really enjoys having some days at home and so do I.

Jeremy's parents have been so sweet to stay with me when he has had to be gone for work overnight and they are just so helpful with the kids and in helping me stay sane as I go solo for a few days at a time. I am hoping in the weeks ahead I might feel equipped to truly do it solo while he is away, but until then I am so thankful that they have been so available. Not to mention that Levi especially enjoys having them here!

In conclusion, to update you on life with us, we are chugging along nicely all things considered.

Yes, there are many things from my daily 'to do' list left undone each day but I get to the important ones. Yes, there are classes I meant to sign up for but missed the deadline (again). And yes, I could be getting more sleep. But truth be told, in all the mess of our once pristine house and all the yelling of almost 2-year-old toddlerhood and all the sleep deprivation of newborn parenting I think about our journey to get here. I remember how blessed we are and how we have been gifted these two beautiful souls to parent. I take a deep breath and say a quiet prayer of thanks. Even in the darkest of moments I can know the peace of God's spirit within me and know deep within that life is good.

This picture is a fantastic slice of life captured. Grandma reading to Levi while he sits on the potty as we encourage his toilet training (in early stages) and Grandpa talking to Nora while she explores the playmat. It's our life :)

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