I am not writing this with any news but just a renewed sense of God's care. This afternoon I went to my doctors appointment and could not have been more apprehensive about how it would go. Not just any kind of results I may have got, but about if I would be able to make myself understood, or if I leave feeling frustrated and not heard.
I didn't know it but I was meeting with the nurse practitioner, not the doctor. When she walked into the room and introduced myself, I burst into tears. Simply out of relief. She was the sweetest lady, and instantly put my mind at ease. We sat across from each other and she listened to every question and answered it until she made sure I understood. She smiled a lot, this reassuring smile, and I know she was the answer to all the prayers surrounding this appointment. She said we should take more blood today, and again on Friday to check my levels. If they are going down, they want to make sure they continue to drop and clear out naturally, but if they are rising, then they want to make sure everything is normal.
She was very gentle with me, and careful to explain that blood tests would give useful information for this pregnancy if it goes on to be healthy, but also they would give information that could be helpful if it ends in miscarriage. She said that after 3 miscarriages they would do another round of tests to look for hidden problems. I managed to get me an appointment with my doctor in 2 weeks - when there wasn't a space for a month! This visit will be our first pre-natal visit or our first 'trying to figure out what's going on, and see if we can have a healthy pregnancy next time' visit. Either way I will be looking forward to it. She smiled a lot, and I know she was the answer to all the prayers surrounding this appointment.
My low progesterone will be addressed more after we know results tomorrow. If levels are rising, they can see if a supplement would be helpful.
I have no more answers but truly have a peace that I know is from the Lord. Thank you for your continued prayers. Honestly, I am not expecting 'good' results from tomorrow and am resigned to this ending sooner rather than later but I have peace about the next steps even if that was to happen. I feel heard and rooted in my life again. I just came home and pigged out on chocolate which I have not even thought about in a week or so - God IS good!!
Thank you for your continued prayers.