This morning marked a first for our church community. It is the first Sunday that there are worship services at the two satellite campus as well as our original at Green lake. Jeremy and I have been praying throughout this summer asking God if we are to be a part of the new location meeting in North Seattle, or if we should stay put. I feel a strong pull to move, but Jeremy is more hesitant, so we continue to wait on the Lord. In the mean time, we decided to support this new venture by attending the first North campus service this morning.
I confess that it is unusual for us to be awake before 11am on Sundays and going to church at 5pm only enabled our sloth. The North Campus meets at 10.30am, so even leaving it to the last minute we needed the alarm to go off at about 9.30am to be out the door, clean, dressed and fed by 10.15am. This will be a change of pace for us if we commit to this new service, but getting home just after noon with the whole day ahead of us felt really good, so I think we could get used to it - it will just mean we are a little more protective of our Saturday morning sleeping in!!
It was so great to see our community come together to make this service happen, the fruit of something which has been in the works for a couple of years. When we showed up we were met with coffee (much appreciated not to mention necessary!) muffins and fruit, name tags, some familiar faces, and others which will become familiar in time, laughter, conversation, kids playing and a general buzz of anticipation, it felt right and good that we were there.
We found seats and began to worship. It was the first time we had been in church since our most recent miscarriage, and this time of worship was powerful and healing. As we sang out "How marvelous, how wonderful is my Saviors love for me." Tears streaming quietly down my face, Jeremy firmly holding my hand, I knew in my heart that the words I was singing were true, even though it has been hard to 'feel' it in recent events.
The message of the sermon was about listening for and accepting the invitations Jesus presents to join in with the story he is writing here on earth. This satellite campus feels like a piece of that message for us corporately but I see that we are in the midst of accepting one personally too.
We have no real control over our ability to have a baby. Yes, with medical intervention there is some busy work we could do to increase our chances but in reality the gift of life is just that, a gift, and we don't choose when or if it happens. I think this is one invitation God has put before us. Will we accept to walk this journey in humility with hearts open and willing to trust in God's plan, or will we try and cling to some sense of control?
I am sure our resolve will come in waves, but our true desire is to submit to God's plan. In all this I try to remember that God is worthy of all of my praise, my whole heart. In the midst of our fear about what's to come and the anxiety about the path we walk if we accept this invitation, God remains constant. He is faithful, he is good and as we walk in obedience we begin to transform and see the fruit of our own transformation.
What a special gift to cry on the shoulders of friends and church family today, to be met with such compassion. This in itself feels transforming as we tip-toe through our sadness and allow others to join us. It is uncomfortable when your true self is exposed; sorrow and disappointment can be hard pills to swallow especially when others are watching. As Christians it can sometime feel as though we are supposed to smile and use phrases like 'Let go and let God," that isn't where we're at right now. We want to journey this with authenticity; we have faith but we are hurting. We won't always feel God is close, but sometimes His presence will be heavy and tangible . We accept the invitation to walk this path and strive to be honest along the way. We truly thank you for walking with us.