Blah and choices

My body is feeling blah today. I carry my emotional processing in my physical body, and even though the lessons God teaches can bring me peace my body still has some catching up to get there. I guess this is the burden of an anxiety sufferer. It could be worse, but today I am feeling pretty yucky, maybe not yucky, just heavy-hearted and well, blah.

I thought I would try and shake of the blah by running some errands. They included shopping for 'the perfect' paper and envelopes to stick into our profile books and print out our letters to the birth parents and our profile information sheet. They had to be just right. Not that I am obsessive or anything! So this fun sounding little jaunt ended up being much more stressful than I anticipated - self inflicted, of course.

It is silly, but I went back and forth, "what if the birth mother likes purple and we use a purple envelope and that is what draws her to our book? What is she thinks our colours are too boring and doesn't choose us because of that? On and on...our trip to Paper Source was longer than expected. We left with some fairly neutral colours, but I think they will look nice with the colours in the book and they are light enough that when we print the letters, they will be legible.

According to the UPS tracker our photo books will be here sometime this week or early next week, So we have until then to complete and tweak our letters. And then, that's it. Done. Waiting.

I feel as though our advent devotionals this year will have even more meaning than usual as we anticipate the arrival of our own child and remember the anticipation of Mary, and the longing world we waiting for baby Jesus all those years ago.

The fear and the unknown, the hope the joy and the peace. These feeling will resonate with us more deeply than ever this year.

We also shopped for our Thanksgiving feast, I am making cranberry cherry sauce, roasted sweet potatoes and Apples with bourbon glaze, mashed yams with goat cheese, and a fruit salad with pomegranate and mango it looks amazing! I love doing a pot luck type thing because we all get to create in the kitchen but no one gets stressed out because we are doing too much to enjoy the day. Hoping the busy few days at school, which include a french test (eeek!) will shake off the blah so I can embrace all the delights of thankfulness that are to come at the end of the week as we gather with family and friends.

What did you get up to this weekend?