New Years Eve 2011

It's been quite a year. A good year. There have been valleys as well as peaks but overall this year was kind to us.

Our hope is that this will be the last year we will start as a couple and not as a family. Praying that God has that in His Hands and will make our lives beautiful in that way in His time.

Wishing you all a blessed and hope-filled new year.

Chrissie x

Christmas...and beyond

I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas time. We spent a glorious few days at my in-laws. It was very low key. J was still getting over his flu so he wasn't up to much, and his sister and i were on the tail end of colds so we were not exactly the life of the party either. However, we had lots of good food, played games, watched football, and of course opened presents and a good time was had by all. I think we were all enjoyed the very laid back celebration.

With J still feverish and hacking up a lung, I slept in a room with my lovely sis-in-law. At first I was quite sad at the idea of not waking up next to j on Christmas morning but honestly it was really fun to spend the nights up chatting about life the universe and everything with her. At holiday times, I am always reminded how blessed I am to have married into such a great family. I know its not always the case that you get a package deal with a great guy, but I really did.

We came home with a car full of fun goodies, including an ice cream maker and recipe book which I am SO excited to try out! We also got an electric blanket which we have been turning on before we climb in. Our house is usually warm at night, but somehow the heat stays out of the bed and getting into a freezing cold bed is never nice. The blanket gets the bed all nice and warm so we never again have to do that crazy dance where you get in and flap arms and legs around trying not to freeze!!

Jeremy totally scored too with a massage chair from his parents which is just wonderful. Luckily he shares willingly so I get to have turns too!

We are hoping to use this week to get a few house things done while is off from work but we are making sure to be doing a lot of just relaxing together too. Tonight I made something really simple for tea, jacket potato with Heinz beans and a green salad and we are watching the final Harry Potter on DVD. I love these quiet nights in together...now we just have to figure out what to do for new years??!

What was your favourite Christmas present?

Only 4 more sleeps!!!!

So Christmas joy has finally got to our house. Christmas joy and the flu...I could have done without the second thing. We were both feeling pretty off this weekend but I wonder if my symptoms were more sympathy symptoms because I feel fine without anything really coming to a head, but poor J has been in bed for the last few days with the shivers and an achy body. He has been sleeping in the other room to try and avoid giving me his germs. That feels weird. It's like we had a fight I don't know about or something! I hate not sleeping next to him.

Thankfully, he seems to be on the mend today which I am very happy about because it would be so sad for him to be sick over Christmas.

I opened door 21 on my Cadbury's chocolate advent calendar today. So glad that my mum still send me one of those each year. Honestly, the anticipation that comes from opening a little door each day is crazy. I am a grown woman yet this little tradition certainly helps my Christmas spirit soar!

Last Christmas was tough. We had so many unanswered questions about our pregnancy losses and our future as parents. We didn't know what our family was going to look like or how we were going to get there. This Christmas we have hope. So much hope.

We don't always understand the ways God works, but we have continued to surrender our plans and our family to His plans and we know he is faithful. We know our family will be a reflection of his love for us. And we look forward to sharing the story of our family as a continued testimony of Gods faithfulness.

This year J and I gave ourselves a Christmas budget - Thanks Dave Ramsey! We have been putting money aside all year in our Christmas fund and now I get to spend it. This sounded great until I realised I had to make a plan to keep on budget. This is not good news for a free-spirit-Christmas-spender! I feel as though J is the person who will notice the budget the most under the tree this year. I love to buy him things and this year, I had to restrict myself. So this year, I hope my hugs and kisses can make up for the lack of presents from me - assuming her is not longer contagious of course, otherwise hell have to take a rain check!

Welcome if you are here from ICLW - Please let me know you stopped by, and if you are interested in our journey so far, please check out the post on the left-hand side.

Only 4 more sleeps people!!!

And into the Christmas Spirit we go...

I am done! Thank you for all the good wishes. I actually feel pretty good about my French final, I won't know my grade for a little while but I think I did well enough to pass so I can take the following class next quarter.

I am celebrating my freedom by sleeping in and eating my chocolate from my advent calendar for breakfast. It's amazing. And I am not even feeling guilty yet.

Tomorrow is one of my favourite new holiday traditions, the all day Christmas movie marathon that our dear friends host. They release the movie schedule and people come and go throughout the day. We usually wear something that closely resembles pajamas and bring along blankets and pillows etc. We will be popping out for a movie length in the afternoon to attended a cookie exchange but then will be back for the evenings viewing. Ho ho ho!

I have not felt like we have fully embraced the Christmas spirit this year and with only ten days to go before the big day I am hoping this weekend will kick us into high gear. We also have to pick up a gingerbread house kit this weekend because we are putting them together with friends next week. Another goofy and fun tradition.

I loved the Christmas episode on 'New Girl' where they went to see the Christmas lights int he neighborhood. We have a plan to go exploring some of the neighbourhood displays in our area because I LOVE Christmas lights. It is just magical to see everything sparkling.

Something else which will be sparkling in my house soon is a brand new fridge. We have had three unsuccessful attempts to have this thing delivered, and we have taken groceries out of our current fridge each of those times, only to have to return them because of a whole spectrum of excuses. But today I feel it's going to be different and that this time we will be putting them back into a beautiful new one. It will be a pre-Christmas miracle!

Is it Friday yet?

I know it's Thursday night but seriously, this feels like the longest week ever. I have crossed off a lot of things academically, but it feels like the never ending list.
I am having a hard time believing this quarter will ever end!

Also, Christmas is right around the corner how did that happen? I am usually so one the ball but this year, I have let things slide a little. I thought I was ahead of the game but I just realised that the cards I wrote are still sitting on the counter, next to the ones I still have to write but that had got forgotten.

Then I was certain I was done with my shopping but unless I have a pile of presents somewhere that I bought and forgot I still have a few (pretty important) ones to figure out. I do have things packaged for the UK which is great...but they have yet to make it to the post office so I am not patting myself on the back just yet!! ha ha

I do like this time of year though, the lights and the glitter everywhere...I think I just need to be done with school so I can fully embrace it. Counting down to Wednesday at 12.30!

Struggling to finish strong

Jeremy has been gone for work this week. And while I don't like him being gone, it does give me some great time to catch up with girlfriends who I easily neglect when normal life mode kicks in. I seriously have some of the most amazing ladies in my life.

It is also the last full week of school and I am really struggling to stay focused and keep my head in the game. I have an oral presentation in my French class tomorrow and a quiz on Friday before the final next Wednesday. Yuck. I hate tests. I get so nervous, and as soon as I get to a question that I don't know I freeze and seem to forget everything. I like to pretend tests are not happening, so my nerves don't get the better of me. However, putting off studying to fool myself into thinking a test is far off is not really that helpful.
I also have final assignments and a final in my other class so there is a lot of things which should be filling me time - but aren't. This quarter is dragging like none before it. I am not sure why...I think maybe our adoption journey now feels so real and so immediate that school work seems a bit pointless.

I know that once I have my two year degree, probably in a year or less, I will feel great about my accomplishment but the next few quarters might drag on like this one. And lets face it, once we have a baby in our arms my motivation for school work will be totally gone so I guess I should try and keep my head in the game as much as possible now in case our baby comes sooner rather than later and I have limited motivated time!!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Not chosen

Just wanted to write a very quick update to let you know we heard that the birth mother who had been shown our profile has chosen another family to parent her baby. Of course it stings a little to not have been chosen, but we trust that this little one has a wonderful family to grow up in and we feel honored to have been able to bathe her entry into the world in prayer.

We had a sense that this was not our baby, but we would have loved to be wrong, so now wait and we look forward to seeing God's plan come to be in our family.

Thanks you for all your encouraging and supportive words, we truly appreciate them.

Community

Really struggling to focus on the school assignments that are staring me down today. I had a wonderful morning at church, full of friends and not enough time to really catch up with everyone that I wanted to.

On Thursday last week, I had an open house ladies night for ladies at our church to get to know one another in an informal environment, over wine and dessert. My husband kept asking me what we were going to do at ladies night, he and his male brain had a hard time grasping the fact that little planning is necessary when you throw a bunch of ladies in a space with chocolate and vino. That is what we are doing!

I was excited by the great turn out and by the sweet, real conversations we were able to have during the evening. Old and new friends alike. It was a glimpse of the community in our lives, and I felt truly honored to be able to be a part of a church community who desire to be truly known, and present in each others lives. I just kept looking around thinking, this is what its supposed to be like.
Not that our church is perfect, but it is a platform for us to know Christ and one another in a more authentic way and to serve others in our community.

This morning, the advent reading, the worship, the message, the post service conversation was just another confirmation of God's plan for our lives. We were to be a part of this church.

Life is feeling very full at the moment. Not in a busy way particularly, but full of good things, full of relationships, full of laughter...and homework. I guess I am back around to struggling with motivation for that, which is probably my sign to stop blogging and get on with it.

I hope that where ever you are today, you are experiencing the peace, joy and hope of this Christmas season.

Easy Weekend

So no news is good news? I am not sure if I am sure about that but we haven't heard anything even though the baby has been born. We should hear either way, so perhaps the birth mother is having second thoughts? Who knows?

I do know that I have felt very certain that this situation came to us so we could ask for prayer for this little life. I have felt very peaceful as I have prayed for health and protection over her life, very certain that in my times of intercession I was in the center of Gods will. Not a certainty that this child will be in our home but a certain sense that for this short time we were here to cover her with prayer. And in that we feel like parents. Like God is continuing to transform our hearts.

This has been a learning curve. A glimmer of what is to come perhaps.

So I am writing our Christmas cards, silly pictures of the hubs and I. No cute baby this year. I thought that this could have been a sad reminder. I know that for some couples struggling with infertility, or waiting to adopt the holiday season is just a reminder that another year has passed by without a baby in their lives. Last year was hard for us, I was cautious about being too merry this year but the holiday blues have evaded me (so far.)

We have had a lovely, relaxing start to our weekend. Friends over for brunch and then watching Christmas movies, the Christmas card writing, and simple, lovely time with Jeremy.

Not such a bad life really. Not at all.