Asking for 25

The secret is out. Officially in our second trimester of pregnancy and officially not just chubby. It has been a crazy couple of years to get here, and the journey of these past 13 weeks is important and special and worthy of praise to God. I have been blogging to remember along the way, and so I want to share the whole story with you. We are back in business on the blog! Enjoy our story so far...

This post was originally written November 23rd 2011

Saturday November 19th, 2011. Feeling weird, I prayed this prayer before I fell asleep.

Dear God, I know it is only 9 days since I ovulated but I think I might be pregnant...again. If I am just crazy help me to wake up and pee WITHOUT remembering to take a test if I am just being silly. Otherwise remind me and I will take the test.

Sunday Nov 20, 2011

5.30am - Wide awake. With thoughts of peeing on sticks.

7.00am - peed on a stick. Faintest of faint lines appears

7.15am - start taking pregnancy meds regime and call the clinic to report my +hpt

9.45am - Blood draw at the Fertility Clinic - they don't mess around

11.45am - Missed the call from the clinic so they left a message. Level is 6.6 "Practically a negative result" My heart sinks, but I can't shake the feeling that God has something up his sleeve.

Monday Nov 21, 2011

8.00am - At school for yoga, after sharing with my teacher my potential situation, she sets me in the corner in restorative pose, relaxing while my classmates do headstands all around me. Feel a bit like a fraud, but 6.6hcg and the meds are already making me nauseous.

Praying all day. Lord, I don't know if I can go through another loss. Please let me know soon if this is not going to work out so my heart doesn't have to be in this limbo for too long. My follow up blood draw in tomorrow morning, they want the numbers to double in 48 hours. Lord, please let me know tomorrow. Keep my levels low if this isn't going to work out. If this is IT, if this is a pregnancy that will end with a baby please give me a level of 25. More than double...double double. Please Lord.

Tuesday Nov 22, 2011

7.45am - Another blood draw at the clinic

10.30am - Missed call from the adoption agency. Our case worker presents a case of a potential birth mother and would like us to consider having our profile shown to her. Lots of complications. Lots. Oh, and baby due to be born by C-section, across the country in 10 days.

Wow. So many thoughts of babies I am not able to focus on anything.

2pm - Clinic called, this mornings hcg is at 28. Burst into tears. Not sure if it was fear or relief. Next blood draw scheduled for 2 days...