Monday, July 12, 2010
I am reading through the book of Jeremiah in my quiet times, and have been reminded again of my larger purpose.
I was known before I was created and I was set apart(Jer. 1:5). We are all set apart and we all have an anointing for something in this life. While I am still working with God to figure out some of the pieces to my big picture, there are some pieces I can be working on in the meantime!
I know that I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I have not mastered any of these yet, but how transforming the journey of living and loving has been so far. I know I am called to care for the poor, the widows and the orphans.
Again, more incredible things to learn, laugh and cry about as I step out in these identities.
Last night Jeremy and I finished our grocery shopping and were walking the shopping trolley to the car. A homeless man approached us and asked if we could spare any money to give him so he could buy food. This is not an uncommon event in Seattle, we have a large homeless population. Jeremy and I have decided that we are not going to just give money out to the homeless but if we felt led, we would buy them food and preferably it would be a time we could sit and visit with them too. There are all kinds of thoughts that went with our decision, and its one you have to decide for yourselves, to give or not to give, that is the question - along with a few more thoughts...What if they want to use the money for alcohol? Do I have the right to chose how they spend their money? After all, it isn't even my money to give in the first place. It's been entrusted to me but ultimately all I have is the Lord's and I am simply here to be a good steward of it. Wow, that's a lot.
I believe the decision Jeremy and I made is the right one for us, for now. At the same time I believe sometimes God has a bigger plan that he invites us to participate in. As we left the store, and were asked if we had money to spare, somewhere deep inside me my heart just leaped. I was overwhelmed by the truth that we do have money to spare and in that moment I was in awe of the graciousness, generosity and blessing of God in my life. I knew that the Holy Spirit was doing a work in me and I knew it started with me giving this man some money.
I didn't stop right then because I wanted to Jeremy to weigh in. I knew we had made that decision together and I wanted to respect that, but at the same time I wanted to follow what I felt was God's leading to give. I told Jeremy what I was feeling and we talked briefly about it he agreed I should give something.
I returned to the man, who's name I found out was Mike and I chatted briefly before handing over some cash and wishing him a good night.
I don't know exactly what the Lord was doing but as I walked away from Mike, tears came to my eyes and I knew that God's heart was broken for him. I felt a vision sweep over me of God's hope and redemptive power. I felt God's desire for this man's life and it took my breath away. I have prayed for Mike a few times since our interaction and am hoping soon that he accepts God's invitation to be a part of a bigger story.
I see how in our brief conversation Jeremy and I were dealing with issues of trust and faith and finance and I am eager to have the Lord's refining in all these areas of our marriage but I think we will have to wait to know if anything more was happening. I believe that we are called to an intimate relationship with God and this starts with stepping out in obedience. So that is where we leave this story, trusting that this small interaction will move us a little closer to God. Perhaps that was the point? One thing we do know is that it's just a tiny, tiny piece in the story of our lives.
Step into the calling and purposes you know today and trust they will lead you to the bigger picture. God's plans for us are good and he is faithful. It's a wild ride!