I wrote a post a few weeks ago called 'The good, the bad and the Ugly'. It was when J was gone for a few days and Levi was trying to transition his first few nights out of the crib. I was beyond sleep deprived and it was not pretty. It was an honest post but apparently someone read it and felt afraid for my kids calling me an abuser and telling me to get help.
I love that this blog is a public space. I have been blessed by some amazing friendships with people who I have met through this blog and through sharing the journey of faith, fertility struggles marriage and parenting. I enjoy this space I appreciate a place to vent and share and learn but the downside is being open to critique from people who do not really know me and make judgement. Its the crux of internet relationships right? You are only allowed to know what is given to you and tone etc can be misjudged or misunderstood - or information can be intentionally misleading.
[I am contemplating making the blog private to allow me to share without fear of judgement. People I know would have a password to read my posts. I go back and forth, guess we will see.]
I just felt as though I needed to clarify some things from that blog because not everyone reads comments. The anonymous commenter accused me of abusing my children because I yelled and because I admitted to swiping at Levi's leg. This behaviour is not something I consider "good parenting" I am not proud of it. I admitted fault to Levi and to my husband on the phone and asked for their forgiveness as I apologised. I may have lost my cool but I never lost control. My children were never in danger.
I have spent the morning with a knot in my belly after her initial comment. I feel so misunderstood, so misrepresented. But then those are my words, those were my actions, they are just a small, small part of who I am as a person and as a parent. I would never condone hitting children (this is not a comment on spanking, different issue not for this time or post) I never condone abusive language or violent yelling or screaming directed at a child. This is not what was happening in our home. I understand that the words I wrote in that post may have misrepresented events of that time but those who do know me or who have followed this blog for a while would be able to read them without concluding abuse.
Thanks for reading.