Thursday, May 29, 2014

Clearing something up

I wrote a post a few weeks ago called 'The good, the bad and the Ugly'. It was when J was gone for a few days and Levi was trying to transition his first few nights out of the crib. I was beyond sleep deprived and it was not pretty. It was an honest post but apparently someone read it and felt afraid for my kids calling me an abuser and telling me to get help.

I love that this blog is a public space. I have been blessed by some amazing friendships with people who I have met through this blog and through sharing the journey of faith, fertility struggles marriage and parenting. I enjoy this space I appreciate a place to vent and share and learn but the downside is being open to critique from people who do not really know me and make judgement. Its the crux of internet relationships right? You are only allowed to know what is given to you and tone etc can be misjudged or misunderstood - or information can be intentionally misleading.

[I am contemplating making the blog private to allow me to share without fear of judgement. People I know would have a password to read my posts. I go back and forth, guess we will see.]

I just felt as though I needed to clarify some things from that blog because not everyone reads comments. The anonymous commenter accused me of abusing my children because I yelled and because I admitted to swiping at Levi's leg. This behaviour is not something I consider "good parenting" I am not proud of it. I admitted fault to Levi and to my husband on the phone and asked for their forgiveness as I apologised. I may have lost my cool but I never lost control. My children were never in danger.

I have spent the morning with a knot in my belly after her initial comment. I feel so misunderstood, so misrepresented. But then those are my words, those were my actions, they are just a small, small part of who I am as a person and as a parent. I would never condone hitting children (this is not a comment on spanking, different issue not for this time or post) I never condone abusive language or violent yelling or screaming directed at a child. This is not what was happening in our home. I understand that the words I wrote in that post may have misrepresented events of that time but those who do know me or who have followed this blog for a while would be able to read them without concluding abuse.

Thanks for reading.


  1. Chrissie, you may know me as Wookie on BnB, and I don't normally follow your blog...not because I'm disinterested, but because time is rather limited on my end for all of the things I'm up to these days.

    After seeing something eluding to an abuse reference on FB from your blog, I felt the need to pop in, and state that I know you're a wonderful, and wonderfully imperfect mother. We aren't always proud of our actions as parents, and there will certainly be worse transgressions than the one you described above...and you'll STILL be a great mother. We just all mess up. But, to refer to it as abuse, is overblown, exaggerated, and quite frankly, silliness.

    Let it roll right off of you. You lost your cool, we all do it, and as one mom to another, just know that it's a normal part of parenting. No biggie, dear, seriously!

  2. Oh girl! I know your a great momma, don't let one awful comment let you think otherwise!

  3. Some people are super sensitive to "abuse language", whether because they experienced it themselves or know someone who did. And they probably aren't use to people who are as honest as you are. So they read "swiped", and "saw" an image of someone maliciously swinging at their child with said child fearing for their life and assumed you were trying to brush it off as no big deal. Don't let their hypersensitivity ruin your day or your night.

  4. Omg I can't believe that!!! You're an amazing mom! Some people like to cause drama for drama's sake.



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