Thursday, May 15, 2014

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Jeremy was away on a work trip for the past few days and I have been pretty much solo with the kids. My sweet friend Maggie as given up her evenings to help me with bedtime and has stayed over to be there in an emergency for which I am beyond thankful but for the most part its been on me to make sure these little ones are clean and fed etc. It's been a wild ride and here are some high and low lights.

The Good

When we were ona walk and a guy jogged by without a shirt at which Levi piped up loudly, "Look! Man running nudie!"

The Bad 

He has taken to telling me "no"

The Ugly

His huge meltdowns when he doesn't get his way. Holy Smokes, hello toddlerhood!

The Good

This afternoon when Nora was on the playmat and Levi crawled in next to her and just snuggled as she chatted to him.

The Bad

Levi was frustrated when he was trying to "hold Nora" which involved him pullingat her when she was in her baby seat, and his reaction to me telling him no was so smack her hard on the head at which point she cried so hard it broke my heart.

The Ugly

The way I swiped at Levi's leg to.move him out the way and shouted in anger and the way he looked at me when I sat him hard on the floor and yelled that he was never to do that again.

The Good 

The way Levi started to refer to himself as a "big boy" when he does something I ask of him.

The Bad

Levi's growing up includes his crib climbing and inability or at least refusal to fall asleep alone. Making naps and bedtime long and stressful for everyone.

The Ugly

The way I raised my voice at him trying to get him to stay in the crib and lost my cool when he didn't. The way I haven't made a plan to help him transition to a bed if that is actually what we are doing and the guilt i feel because my lack of planning is having unpleasant consequences for us both.

 The Good

Jeremy comes home tomorrow

No bad or Ugly for that, it's just good news.

And the BEST

God's grace is constant and his mercies are new every morning. He forgives when I ask and hear my prayers when I call out in desperation. He is my ever present help in times of trouble and he renews my mind over and over. He is my Source and my Rock. With His help alone, I can hope to be something of the parent I desire to be.

7 comments:

  1. Love THE BEST section!! What a creative and fun post!! Glad Jeremy is coming home soon!

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  2. Your honesty is incredibly brave and humbling. Thank you Chrissie. You are a good momma.
    Xoxo Jill

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  3. You are not alone, keep resting on the best!

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  4. Thanks for your honesty, however, it's illegal to hit a child where I come from! It's also extremely detrimental to a child when they are yelled at. Yelling and physical violence is abuse/domestic violence. You really should get some help, straight away. You could try an anger management/parenting course. They will help you to parent better.

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    Replies
    1. Dear anonymous tba k your for your thoughts. I am not abusing my babies in any way. I'm glad you seem able to parent without ever losing your cool. Ever. But I'm just normal. Pleasr take a moment to read some more of my blog to get a more rounded view of my parenting rather than this one post which covers 2 days of solo parenting a busy toddler and a newborn.
      Thanks

      Delete
    2. Hitting is abuse. Yelling is abuse. Type it into google! Go to the library -- get some books out - read them! It is not ok once, twice or hundreds of times. It damages the child. Losing your cool does not mean you can lash out at your child. For Heaven's sake, you are trying to teach him not to do that to his sister by doing it to him? Poor baby. He is only a baby, not even two years old. I do lose my cool, but I never hit - ever. Children aren't naughty - their needs just aren't being met. Maybe you could organise a friend to help with childcare for an hour or two, especially on the days you are feeling stressed out and just don't hit your children. It's not acceptable behaviour from an adult and I would seriously consider the legalities of such behaviour on your part. And a parenting class would be good for you so that you know what is normal behaviour for a toddler and if you are expecting too much from him at such an age. They will also help you with ways to respond that aren't damaging.

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    3. I am in no way touting my parenting on those days as ideal, and have never held myself up to be a perfect parent. I agree there is much information out there and much to be learned. This blog documents my life, not just the pretty stuff, i choose to share the less than wonderful stuff too. I worked with children for years before becoming a parent, and have taken classes and read books, so many books, as I said, if you wanted to read my blog you could read about all the books I have read and how we have tried to implement things into our home. That said, the blog post above was written in a crazy and sleep deprived slice of life, our strategies failed in those moments. I'm not proud of it but It happens (although apparently not to you) I never lost control and my children were never in danger, period.

      Usually I don't respond to negative anonymous comments but I also don't usually think its appropriate to remove comments. It's a public space - but I cannot just let it go when someone considers me abusive.

      I admit to being imperfect.

      My children's experience of me has many facets. Yes they have known me stressed out, they have known me angry but more so they have known me loving and patient, gracious and soft spoken, laughing and gentle. They have seen me ask for forgiveness, they have seen me say sorry and while I wish I was perfect enough to never have had to need to do those things in the first place, I think they are important lessons to have modelled and learn for life in the real world where people are messy and imperfect.

      I don't think any more debate here is helpful or healthy. Thank you for taking time to read some of our story.


      Thank you for your concern but my kids are just fine.

      Delete

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