But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on
2 Corinthians 12:9
Oh my goodness I love the promise and the hope of this verse. Whatever my day holds. However much I fail. His grace IS enough, and it is IN my weakness that his power can be seen.
Feeling ready for the quarter to be over. Only a final paper and pretty hefty final assignment to finish and hand in on Monday and then I can breathe and do some scrapbooking or something! My craft room slash laundry room slash spare room is in chaos as I have lived in a constant state of procrastination. My card making has become - as I am leaving the door for a birthday celebration - scrambling to find card paper, a gluestick, stamping 'happy birthday' and hoping it doesn't smudge as final product is crammed into it's envelope and off we go. Not the fun time I once had that included taking a moment to pray for the recipient and make sure I wrote something more than, 'Happy Birthday, Love Chrissie x'
I know that something has to give. I am a juggler with way too many balls in the air. And if that means buying a card from time to time so be it! I see that making different choices about how I spend my time will still not leave time to do everything I would like. Because I am also a typical first born and a perfectionist this is a hard thing to swallow.
I am aware that I can be better about prioritising my time, and I know I can be better at not letting myself get distracted from the things I actually need to do but and this is a BIG but...I still would feel like I was failing or not doing enough. I have to do less and do it well even when it means not doing everything. Having less expectations of myself.
I trust that if I throw all my balls in the air and let God guide my hands as I catch some and let other fall, I will see things change. See deeper intimacy in my marriage, be more content with my day to day, and find truer joy in the simple things I love like cooking and crafting.
But it's hard to make changes like this. It's like putting on a new skin and it feels weird and uncomfortable. What if some of my relationships fall away? What if my house isn't as clean as I want? What if I say "no" to a request - or an offer? What if? What if? What if?
God's grace covers where I fail. It covers my mistakes. But right now I really find comfort in the truth that it covers where I cannot reach. Grace fills the gap between who I am and who I want to be.
I trust that in throwing all my balls in the air and letting God guide my hands, deciding which I catch and which I let fall, I will see things change.