I have had a similar conversation with about 7 people over the last few days as they have asked, "How are you doing?" I wanted to get the feelings down on paper. To build my tower of rocks to look back on someday when life is harder, reminding me of this season.
As anyone who longs for something knows, sometimes the waiting and hoping is easier than other times. A reminder that could have turned me into a pool of tears a few months ago, no longer seems to hold that power. Another month passes without pregnancy and the disappointment that sent me into a dark spiral before no longer has that effect.
I feel such an overwhelming sense of peace that we are right where God wants us. I wish it could be different, I wish we could have our baby today but we have always prayed that God would build our family and I do not believe he has ignored our prayer. And if this is true, we can wait.
I didn't realise how much of a dark place I had been in until in the past month I have been able to look back from my brighter emotional perspective today and see just how far I have come.
I am so thankful for the opportunity to walk with peace truly ruling my heart. I know that it was nothing I did that has brought me out of the darkness and into this place. This is the result of our prayers, and the prayers of those around us. It is a reflection of God's character. His faithfulness to be the strength we need in every trial. We do not know what our journey will look like, but I am hopeful that this peace can continue to be strong in my life in a way that guides our decisions.
It is supposed to be summer, but I think Seattle is taking this Saturday off because it has been overcast all morning. J and I am hunkered down watching part one of 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows' and we are hoping our submission to un-summer activities will be the double bluff needed to make the sun shine! We'll see I guess!!
Happy Saturday all.