Sunday, October 2, 2011

One week down

Phew, week one of school down. Week one of school plus 2lbs. Awesome bonus!

I have started moving more, waking to and from school, it's not even that much but clearly enough to kick start getting rid of these last 10-15lbs that have taken up residence post marriage and cumulatively after the miscarriages.

I am feeling good about the fact that by the end of the year I should be almost there. By the holidays I should at least be feeling more party dress ready, although because of holiday season I will have to be very disciplined o keep that party dress figure!

Fall has arrived in Seattle and the cooler weather and the pumpkins have made me rediscover the joy of being in my kitchen; today my slow cooker is bubbling, cookies are baking, and random other leftovers were converted into something edible and it all happened with a spring in my step. I have been diligently house-wifeing since about noon and am now sitting down feeling very accomplished and eager to reap the benefits of today's hard work in the week ahead.

I am looking forward to Monday. School has continued to be a good balance of stretching and do-able. It is actually quite an adjustment just to have to be somewhere everyday. I know that might sound crazy, but it has literally been years since that has been the case for my schedule. I have kept myself busy in those years and had some consistent commitments but having to be in class every day at a certain time will continue to be an adjustment over the quarter.

The early mornings have also allowed me to keep on track with homework and my online class. But I am realising that I do not have the option to be as social during the day as I have been. I just have to understand that my time is more limited, and that I need to plan less or at least differently if I want to feel as though I am not stretched too thin.

This morning in church our pastor referenced Jim Elliot's quote "wherever you are be all there." This really sums up my mind set right now.

My hearts desire is to be a stay at home mum. I want my day to be full of playdates, and making yummy baby food, and watching our child grow and discover the world. But, and this is a big but I am not there yet. I believe that God will bless our lives with a child and we will get to truly live the dream in that way one day but for now I have an amazing life and I would be missing something wonderful if I day-dreamed it all away. Or if I was looking ahead instead of seeing what was in front of me.

I want to embrace this season, which means less time to see girlfriends during the week while I fully commit to studying and doing my best in school. It means more intentionality and planning to maintain relationships. Perhaps this means more plans in the evening. I like that idea [Sidenote: last night J and I went to friends for dinner and I loved having a reason to change out of sweatpants, put on a nice shirt, makeup and fix my hair, so clearly a little more grown up hanging out would be a welcome addition to my fall schedule!]

In my first week of school I met a few women that I am eager to get to know more over the course of the quarter. I have felt better physically and seen that being out of the house for longer periods of time means that I snack less, and have to be more intentional about making good meals and snacks to eat on the run.

I want to be fully present. I want to be here. Right where God has me. This was not how I would have planned it but I am seeing the beauty of where I am.

As we continue our adoption paperwork we are aware that one day our lives will be turned upside down in a wonderful way. We will be shaken out of this particular season of life and I want to make sure we don't miss anything in the meantime.

So this is me. Seizing the day, eyes open to all it has to offer. If this is where you want me Lord, I look forward to uncovering all you have for me.

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