Bellies to babies. That is the process, right. And for most people that's how it works, after the belly comes the baby. Sadly, when you have gone through recurrent miscarriages as I have the knowledge that it doesn't always work that way, and I admit that even at this stage I have anxiety that the baby part might elude us. I know that the whole process is in God's hands, and I trust that He has big plans for this miracle boy, but I am aware that those plans may be different than mine. In my humanity and from the experiences of friends I know that even at this stage we may not get to bring home a healthy baby.
It feels like a daily and constant call to surrender to the Lord's plans for our family, and coming to a true place of surrender again and again.Remembering that this baby boy is not ours, but belongs to the Lord.
My eagerness to meet this little guy after so long is intensified as friends begin to birth their babies. I knew that the time would come, when friends due ahead of me began to have their little ones - it would be weird if they didn't, but it doesn't make it easier for me to be patient! Not that I want our baby to come yet. He still has some cooking to do, but the reality of having a babe in our arms is so close, it is hard to be patient! Luckily we get to have some cuddles with friends' babies to tide us over, and once again we appreciate getting to sleep in a little more than we did before knowing that luxury will be gone in only a couple of short months.
It still feels a little surreal that we are so close to the end of pregnancy, only 11 more weeks, a short couple of months, until the due date. At the beginning, it felt as though 9 months was forever, but recently I feel as though time is speeding up. All the things that we had on a list to do before the baby still seem to be on the list...I think the sunshine has not helped us be motivated to stay inside and finish house projects. Luckily, we live in Seattle so I am sure the nice weather won't be here for long and we can get back to it.
So for now, my heart is learning to be patient as my body is growing this baby. My thoughts and prayers are with those who are meeting their little ones today, (hopefully!) and in the days and weeks before us. Please don't share too many details, I am quite happy to go in a little blind about what's ahead! ha ha!